100 Reasons WHY I *Want* To Reach My Goal Weight + 1 Powerful Reason Why I WILL

Hahaha! “To feel like a badass” isn’t actually on my list, but it gave me a laugh when I saw this photo!

It started out as 50 reasons, a task set by Zenergy Coach, Jodie Hebrard,  after a recent & rather awesome chat. When I was 110kg my reason WHY for losing weight was “Because I do not want to die!“. Powerful stuff at the time but less of an actual reason now as the immediate threat to my health is gone now that I am in a healthy weight range with blood pressure down to normal. Now I have a relatively small amount left to lose and really, it’s not do or die as it was when started this adventure. So, I needed to think about the WHY lose weight…

I took on this homework task from Jodie and I wrote the first 50 and thought “Hmm. That’s really not scratched the surface.” So I put it aside and thought on it a while. I needed to be in a place where I felt strong enough to let some of the more confronting and gut-wrenchingly honest reasons emerge.  I came back to it late last week and wrote another 50 reasons – digging deeper. I came up with 100 reasons WHY … then one more… and that’s what made the difference!

1. For ME!
2. To finish what I started
3. To be the best version of me I can be
4. To look better
5. To feel better
6. To be healthy
7. To reveal more muscles
8. To be under BMI 23
9. To have waist well & truly under 80cm – not just under, well under
10. To show those who said “You Can’t” that I can & I did
11. To make the nasty, insecure women I have encountered over my lifetime self combust with jealousy or whatever their problem is
12. Because I can
13. To look fantastic in photos
14. To walk my talk
15. So my clothes fit better
16. So I have a choice of any clothes from any store
17. To look better naked
18. To not be self conscious about how I look when I am exercising
19. To be ready for surgery when I need it
20. To be able to have babies if we choose to
21. To say ‘sucked in’ to the ex-boyfriends who said things like “You know…you would be hot if only you lost weight“
22. To not be the fat friend
23. To not be the fat girl who gets told ‘Oh but you have a pretty face’
24. So no one ever calls me a big girl or big boned ever again
25. So I am not always self conscious about my stomach
26. To lose the back fat
27. So that I can be a role model for  the people I care about
28. So that I can inspire others to make the changes I have made
29. So I can sashay instead of waddle! haha
30. So people will not look at me in that ‘What a shame you are so fat’ way again
31. To not be asked if I am pregnant
32. To be able to run or train in a crop top
33. To keep my blood pressure down
34. To lower my cardiovascular risk
35. To reduce my risk of type 2 diabetes
36. To be able to say I have never been this weight as an adult
37. To say I have never been so happy with my body
38. To not hide from the camera or cringe when my photos s taken
39. Because I deserve it. I am worth it.
40. To invest in gorgeous clothes and know they will fit for a long time because I am done losing weight.
41. To not care if that bitchy girl picks the worst photo of me she can to share with the world
42. To go on a shopping spree to buy whatever I like, not restricted to ‘Big Girl’ stores
43. To show those people who say with that loaded tone “So are you *still* on that fitness weight loss kick” that this is for life
44. To show those who have tried to sabotage my efforts to be healthy and fit that it will not work – now or ever
45. To have some more stylist sessions and feel confident to wear whatever they recommend.
46. To be able to experiment more with fashion
47. To wear a bikini in public
48. To wear a bikini in public AND to not care if someone takes a photo
49. To feel great and look great when on holidays in Thailand
50. To feel comfortable in my own skin
51. To not have to suck my gut in
52. To no longer need to spend emotional, financial, psychological or physical resources on losing weight (time, energy, money etc)
53. To get my body fat under 24%
54. To have the wedding dress of my dreams, if I choose to have a wedding
55. To not dread the idea of photos from special occasions
56. To leave that fat chick who’s held me back for my entire life well in my past
57. To get that inner fat chick out of my brain
58. To get rid of my chubby tummy, spare tyre, chunky trunk, Buddha belly that I have spent my entire life embarrassed about and trying to hide.
59. To not have a fat stomach there for people to poke at & tease (as a child) or to ask if pregnant (as an adult).
60. To not have people comment “You are far too smart to let yourself be so burnt out & unwell & obese.“
61. To be able to walk into any store and know that something will fit me – I don’t care what the size tag says, I just care that I am not limited to big girl stores and kaftans
62. To reveal the muscles I have been working hard to build
63. To minimise musculoskeletal issues as I age
64.  To turn heads for that second look instead of getting the “What were you thinking look“.
65. To lower my risk of breast cancer
66. To lower my risk of bowel and colon cancer
67. To add more years to my life and put more life in my years (For Mel )
68. To reach this goal so I can tick it off my list and use the massive amounts of energy it is taking for other goals.
69.  So that my waist is smaller than my hips
70. To never be called fat again. To never cringe at the sound of that three letter F-word.
71. To leave the bullying, name calling and teasing about my size, shape and weight in the past knowing that it’s no longer the truth.
72. To not have to endure a polite person humouring me by saying “You are just big boned”
73. So that tumours and growths can be detected – I never again want to hear a Doctor say ‘Well you are a Big Girl and so you could have something there but we just cannot detect that because you are obese“. 
74. For the after photo that will eclipse the severely obese images of myself burnt into my brain
75. To not be looked at the way people looked at me when I was 110kg
76. To not be part of the growing obesity epidemic, that’s one trend I am not keen to be part of!
77. To feel comfortable to any activity I want – not worry will I break that swing or will I fit on the roller coaster
78. To never have that ‘You need to lose weight‘ conversation with a medical professional again
79. To not stand and lecture my medical students about health, obesity etc as a severely obese or even overweight person – what a total hypocrite I was!
80. So I do not mind telling people how much I weigh, do not cringe when asked for medical reasons
81. To get a regular towel around me, not need a beach towel.
82. To not be self conscious when eating in public and not think people are looking and thinking “If I was as fat as you I would not be eating THAT!“
83. To not avoid or hesitate before sitting on my partners lap
84. To not cringe when my partner touches my stomach
85. To not be heavier, bigger, wider than my partner
86. To not have rolls of fat when I bend over or sit down
87. To control what I can control – there are health issues I have that I have limited control over, but losing weight and increasing fitness goes a long way to dealing with these
88. So my fave jeans are not too tight (and maybe I can even get a smaller, new pair of  sass n bides!)
89. To wear sleeveless tops and dresses and not be self conscious
90. To treat myself to gorgeous lingerie and not be self conscious about walking into a lingerie shop
91. To be able to be piggy backed (That one is for Kate M!)
92. To be able to wear a bikini and short shorts at a music festival
93. To let go of the past version of myself and embrace the healthy version
94. To  sit in any chair without checking it first or feeling my bulky frame touch the sides or spill over
95. To be graceful when entering a room rather than feeling like a baby elephant thundering in and taking up too much space
96. To become a health professional who is not a hypocrite
97. So I will head into my 40s in the best shape of my life
98. To not be embarrassed about any part of my body
99. To have nothing holding me back from living the life I now dare to dream is possible!

And number 100:  So I can get off & stay off the f**king sidelines of life!!

There you have it. These are all reasons why I want to be at my goal weight. Why it is desirable.  100 reasons why I desire that outcome.

Call me a perfectionist, call me what you want. I realised something:

IT IS NOT ENOUGH.

I started out writing this list aiming for 50… I got there and thought “I can dig deeper, I am not feeling this, I am not yet compelled by this list. It’s just stuff or material things”.  I had to leave the task alone for a bit and think.. then I got to 100 and still was not happy.

Then it went CLICK. The light bulb switched on.

I realised – these are all great reasons. Individually each are relatively small things to help motivate me or remind me why I am focussing on this goal. As a whole list it’s fantastic – there’s a mix of health, fitness, body image / appearance, financial, social and other reasons. It is comprehensive.

But still… I read over and thought: IT’S NOT ENOUGH.

Then I came up with the single most powerful reasons why I WILL reach my weight loss goal:

FREEDOM

Freedom from that list above. Freedom from all those thoughts. Freedom to use my energy for something other than this.

So – I guess I have 101 reasons to reach my goal weight… but 1 single reason is far more powerful than the other 100 combined.

The reason I will reach my weight loss goal is FREEDOM.

How about you? What reasons are on YOUR list?

xx Ange

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