Open Letter To 30 Plus Crew

If you are not a 12WBT 30 Plus Crew group member then this post is probably not of interest to you. We’ll return to regular transmission soon.

Over the last 24 hours an absolute barrage of private messages have hit my inbox about whatever shit storm transpired in the 30 Plus Crew.  There are lots of very hurt people who thought they were in a safe environment who have left the group and many have messaged me asking for help. This is a copy of my post to the group for those who removed themselves before I posted this.  I want you each to know that I will follow through on what I’ve outlined below before removing myself as an Admin.  Since I have posted this message a few hours ago, a few others have come forward indicating that they agree & are trying to take positive steps. I will NOT actively encourage anyone to go back on their decision to leave the group – you need to do what is right for you. I am putting this info out there so you know where it is at and that I have responded to your requests for help. I will not be able to reply to all your messages individually but I can use this blog platform instead.

“Hi 30 Plus Crew. 

I am deeply saddened but what is going on here. IT MAKES MY SOUL BURN. Truly. I am so sad to see wonderful people leaving a group that had been a tremendous source of support and strength. 

HOWEVER, I totally understand & respect their decision to leave. I’ve come home to find a inbox full of PMs & tags from gorgeous, upset & hurt members about the activity in this group in the last day or so. They feel strongly that some very wrong things have been happening. They have asked me to help though not sure I can, short of being frank & forthright about my personal experience here. My heart was already aching last week from some of the stuff I observed, I told you all that last week. So it’s time I spoke my truth and put it out there. Uncensored. No fence sitting. 

I’ve scrolled through this group wall & gotten the general gist, though, with posts deleted I am in absolutely no position to comment on who said what or who was in the right or wrong. Clearly something that made people unhappy / unsafe has transpired. That is so far from cool that I am lost for words other than to say my heart aches. It is NOT my role to chastise or judge. 

I’ve observed stuff happening in smaller doses over recent months which has led to me step back from it. To give you my perspective: I was invited to join this group after it was established and at some point added as an admin. A lovely gesture and I was happy to go along. I have sat back as I did not feel it my place to really direct this group – that should come from all of you guys. I don’t believe in heavy handed Admin, e.g. deleting posts or telling everyone they have to contribute. But if that is something in the ‘code’ for this group that you feel strongly about – that’s AOK! Just not my bag baby & I do not wish to be an Admin of that. Not a criticism of anyone – some groups work well that way if that is the style of the leaders. It is not my style and so I should not be a ‘leader’ i.e. Admin of the group. (Phew. That feels better – kept that in for months!).

In my day job I facilitate the development of groups and I have a very hands off, non-directive approach as every group needs to develop its own way of doing things that works for its members. By the members, for the members. For a while now I have been reconsidering whether it is appropriate for me to be an Admin when I did not establish the group and feel it is going in a different direction to what I would like to see. I’ve been desperately scrambling way too much to compensate for some of the stuff I see going on that does not sit well with me – scrambling to the point of detriment for me. I just have to step back and narrow my focus. There are plenty of people here who can step up & create a magical environment here. I hope some of you do. I will do my best to help the group to move beyond this current upset & stabilise. I will facilitate a discussion in the group to move the team forward and then I will remove myself as an Admin. 

I will remain a member of this group and hope that we move beyond this glitch & create something incredible! xx Ange”

I will be posting a message to trigger that discussion to facilitate the group moving forward and establishing how it wants to run. In my professional roles I facilitate groups and can assure you that some of this is a natural process of ‘storming’. With good facilitation, storming is healthy for any group and happens as it needs to. However, over a number of months there has been an increasing amount of people being upset by posts they consider to be inappropriate / toxic. Given I do not spend much time reading the group page and the posts are often deleted, I have not seen all of that first hand.

For those not interested in returning to the group, that is cool. There are other ways to get the support you need. Locate the TOOLS & SUPPORT that YOU find useful for YOUR goals.  Whatever weight loss program, support network etc that is – ask yourself what YOU need.

You can follow my profile page on Facebook by either sending me a friend request or clicking on subscribe (which will show any of my public posts in your feed but we don’t have to be connected as friends).

In addition, if you are a Queensland 12WBT member you are welcome to join the 2 main Queensland groups. These groups are for general chit chat and organising events. Like all 12WBT-related facebook groups, these are unofficial and self-managing with a handful of volunteers like me facilitating as best we can. All 12WBT program info is on the official website and that is your go to for all program material.

Connect with me: https://www.facebook.com/angela.wallace.1305

Connect with 12WBT Queensland Crew:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/12WBT.QLD.CREW/

12WBT South East Queensland Crew: https://www.facebook.com/groups/12WBTSEQLDCrew/

For those who have been hurt I share your pain. After spending a week with some amazing, inspirational and downright gutsy women & running boot camps this morning & yesterday with some incredible women working hard & supporting one another to come home to find this shit fight unfolding and an inbox of messages from very hurt people really tore my heart out. I am not going to scramble to fix it. I’ll voice what is in my heart and leave it at that.

Not sure why this happened but I know it’s not OK that it goes on. I won’t be a part of it.  I will try to help provide a solution on this occasion and then I am stepping back from this group.

xx Ange

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